Many of you share concern about my friend Natalie, even though some of you have never even met her. Her sister has started a wonderful website about and for Natalie.
Click Here To Go To Nat's Website.
I spent the day with her today. On Sunday her mom asked me when I would be coming back up to the hospital. I was glad she asked me, because I was not sure who and how many visitors they wanted. I told her that I would go and be there as much as I could. She asked me to pick a day to be my day with her. I feel so blessed to get a day. I picked Fridays. The truth is that I really want to and long to be up there everyday but I have a full time job with my daycare and can't be there. So oddly enough I was anxious all week and at time excited and at times very nervous about Friday. Friday was on my mind all week long!!! I thought all week about what I could take to help Natalie. What I could say to comfort her mother. I planned out what I would do . First I made a poster for Natalie which I was very excited came on Thursday so I could take it Friday. And also planned a trip to the bookstore to buy Natalie a copy of her favorite book "A Walk To Remember" We share a love for anything written by Nicholas Sparks. Though I have not read "A walk to remember" I have seen the movies 100 times and always watch the ending with Natalie when I get home from being out and she is here babysitting my kids and is watching that movie. I always catch the end and sit and watch it with her before taking her home. She has been telling me for a long time that I needed to read the book because it is way better than the movie. I never have. So I wanted to pick up the book and read it to her today. I did not make it last night to do that. I did pull out another Nicholas Sparks book to read with her though. On my rush out this morning I forgot the book and I forgot the poster. My plans were spoiled and I was not sure what I was going to say or do while I was there. I told her mom about what I left behind, and like her mom said, "we have plenty of time. and there is always next week." There will be next week. I will be anxious again this week to get back to my Natalie on Friday again. This time maybe she will be awake to see the poster and alert to hear me read the book to her. I also want to say thank you to those that are helping me make my Fridays with Natalie possible, My friend Megan is watching my daycare girl, Ruby. And some of my other friends, Shara took the shift today, are watching my Delana. Thank you so much for allowing me time with my Natalie.
Natalie did great today. She opens her eyes a lot. Though still in a coma, she is getting close to waking up. She moves her arms around a lot and squeezes her hands a lot......that girl has got one tight grip on her. She is so strong. I loved looking into her eyes today. At times they said "Hello" to me. At others they said "help me"
How has this changed me so far???? I drive a little slower and always with two hands on the wheel now. Not to say that she was not doing these things, I am sure she was. I just want to be safe.
The biggest change is my love for my children. Last month I was visiting my friend Sabra, we were talking about our kids and I admitted to her that I often feel guilty because I am not the type of mother that misses her children. I have been away from them for days and even weeks and I don't miss them when I am away from them> I am always excited to see them again after a time of separation, but I don't miss them while I am away, I think of them, but never long for them. I blame part of this on daycare. because I am rarely just around my children. So being around my children, or coming back home again means I am around the daycare, and that is a daunting thought at times. Don't get me wrong....I truly fall in love with my daycare kids, but it is a job. Who likes to go back to work? No one!!! I admitted all of this to Sabra. But this has changed this last week. I hate sending Maelee to school. I want to keep her with me!!! I can't wait to see her when she gets home. When I think of her during the day I cry because I miss her. The schoool nurse called yesterday because Maelee was itchy all over. it was just dry skin and was cured with lotion, but I really wanted to run up and get her. And I hug Delana extra tight when she wakes up from her nap because I miss her while she is napping. I now know what it is like to miss my children. I hug them tighter and love them longer. Gifts that come from tradgedy.
I spent the day with her today. On Sunday her mom asked me when I would be coming back up to the hospital. I was glad she asked me, because I was not sure who and how many visitors they wanted. I told her that I would go and be there as much as I could. She asked me to pick a day to be my day with her. I feel so blessed to get a day. I picked Fridays. The truth is that I really want to and long to be up there everyday but I have a full time job with my daycare and can't be there. So oddly enough I was anxious all week and at time excited and at times very nervous about Friday. Friday was on my mind all week long!!! I thought all week about what I could take to help Natalie. What I could say to comfort her mother. I planned out what I would do . First I made a poster for Natalie which I was very excited came on Thursday so I could take it Friday. And also planned a trip to the bookstore to buy Natalie a copy of her favorite book "A Walk To Remember" We share a love for anything written by Nicholas Sparks. Though I have not read "A walk to remember" I have seen the movies 100 times and always watch the ending with Natalie when I get home from being out and she is here babysitting my kids and is watching that movie. I always catch the end and sit and watch it with her before taking her home. She has been telling me for a long time that I needed to read the book because it is way better than the movie. I never have. So I wanted to pick up the book and read it to her today. I did not make it last night to do that. I did pull out another Nicholas Sparks book to read with her though. On my rush out this morning I forgot the book and I forgot the poster. My plans were spoiled and I was not sure what I was going to say or do while I was there. I told her mom about what I left behind, and like her mom said, "we have plenty of time. and there is always next week." There will be next week. I will be anxious again this week to get back to my Natalie on Friday again. This time maybe she will be awake to see the poster and alert to hear me read the book to her. I also want to say thank you to those that are helping me make my Fridays with Natalie possible, My friend Megan is watching my daycare girl, Ruby. And some of my other friends, Shara took the shift today, are watching my Delana. Thank you so much for allowing me time with my Natalie.
Natalie did great today. She opens her eyes a lot. Though still in a coma, she is getting close to waking up. She moves her arms around a lot and squeezes her hands a lot......that girl has got one tight grip on her. She is so strong. I loved looking into her eyes today. At times they said "Hello" to me. At others they said "help me"
How has this changed me so far???? I drive a little slower and always with two hands on the wheel now. Not to say that she was not doing these things, I am sure she was. I just want to be safe.
The biggest change is my love for my children. Last month I was visiting my friend Sabra, we were talking about our kids and I admitted to her that I often feel guilty because I am not the type of mother that misses her children. I have been away from them for days and even weeks and I don't miss them when I am away from them> I am always excited to see them again after a time of separation, but I don't miss them while I am away, I think of them, but never long for them. I blame part of this on daycare. because I am rarely just around my children. So being around my children, or coming back home again means I am around the daycare, and that is a daunting thought at times. Don't get me wrong....I truly fall in love with my daycare kids, but it is a job. Who likes to go back to work? No one!!! I admitted all of this to Sabra. But this has changed this last week. I hate sending Maelee to school. I want to keep her with me!!! I can't wait to see her when she gets home. When I think of her during the day I cry because I miss her. The schoool nurse called yesterday because Maelee was itchy all over. it was just dry skin and was cured with lotion, but I really wanted to run up and get her. And I hug Delana extra tight when she wakes up from her nap because I miss her while she is napping. I now know what it is like to miss my children. I hug them tighter and love them longer. Gifts that come from tradgedy.
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2 comments:
I was so looking forward to taking Strider to The Treehouse when he turned two, but when the day finally came...I just couldn't bare to do it. Don't get me wrong. I'm going to. I just need a good reason, and I want him to have his brother along side.
I feel so guilty when I leave my kids. Maybe because I worked full-time until Lauren was 2, so now that I am home with them, I feel like I am abandoning them if I go anywhere without them! I know how you feel now. We are praying for Natalie.
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